U.S. — After a heated battle broke out over golf handicaps, both campaigns have agreed to move the next Presidential debate to TopGolf.
“We’re going to settle this once and for all, on national television, just the way the founders intended,” said former President Trump. “There are many things a man can lie about, but his golf handicap isn’t one of them. For the good of America, I cannot let this stand.”
According to sources, each candidate will have an opportunity to hit three drives before moving on the Angry Birds game. “Number one, I hit the red bird,” explained President Biden. “Number two, I hit the bird with the, ah, the arms and the flappies, the flappies. And point C, I’m going to beat Trump like a drum, just like I beat Medicare. We beat Medicare!”
The change of venue came about after President Biden claimed during the first debate that despite being unable to walk down curbs, he remains a championship-level golfer. “Sure, I stumble walking up the little stairs to the first tee. Maybe it takes me three tries. But then I get there, and I smash it 400 yards, Jack,” said Biden. “I once shot 54 under par to beat Kim Jong-Un! I hit a hole-in-one that bounced out of the cup and into the next cup 256 yards away! That’s a fact!”
At publishing time, the nation had agreed to just forget the election and let the two candidates play a round of golf to decide who’s President.
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The both of them.
Deserve an ENDLESS string of ‘Birdies’
FUUUU KNEEEE!!!
I doubt that Joe could hit it without three tries. Trump was reported to be almost a scratch golfer at one time.
Our new national champion has already offered to play with them both to see who is better.
US Open champ Bryson DeChambeau offers to host Trump-Biden golf match (msn.com)
Not a fan of golf but would probably watch. Maybe.
Paint drying is more interesting.
Did you see just how far DeChambeau hit that ball at Pinehurst number 2 and then managed to get out of the sand and right on the cup?
EV’s and golf are at the center of critical issues for the US. And Scottish Muslims are the good guys.
The Babylon Bee is fuckin Hilarious!
LOL … I mean it, LOL, I might have to go and change my depends as I think i just Pissed myself at the thought of this actually happening.
This WOULD BE bread and circuses for the masses.
Do IT!!!!!
Do you guys know why old white guys like to play golf ?
So they can dress up like niggers.