NORTHERN MARIANA ISLANDS — US authorities recently confirmed that Wikileaks founder Julian Assange will finally get to end his 14-year long legal battle by accepting a plea deal which will include a complimentary flight home on a Boeing airplane, paid for by the US Department of Justice.
Sources say that the Justice Department is doing its best to make sure that Assange, a whistleblower whom the US government has been seeking to take down ever since he released thousands of confidential documents back in 2010, will be perfectly safe as he travels back to see his family.
“We’ve buried the hatchet with Assange,” said Attorney General Merrick Garland in a press conference. “He’s cool with us now — in fact, we like him so much that we want to make sure he gets home in tip-top condition, which is why we’re paying for his Boeing flight home. Nothing but the best for our pals, nothing but the best. He’ll be totally safe as he soars home on that shiny new 737 — all the best and see you on the other side, Julian me lad!”
Assange has been assured that he will be in experienced hands as he travels, as Boeing has had plenty of experience taking care of people who release sensitive information which harms a larger organization.
At publishing time, the Department of Justice had offered Edward Snowden a special plea deal with a free Boeing flight as well.
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As a plus, he’s been offered a ride on the Boeing Starlink.
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Every day, I think that current events are so crazy that the Bee has no room left for parody. Then the next day they come up with a zinger that I would have never have conceived.
How about a very special trip on the Boeing Starliner?
The one which broke.
And can not get home.
And stranded two astrodupes on the space station.
Probably should not take any plane rides
This is why they put Julian Assange in jail
https://x.com/REVMAXXING/status/1805411464791961798
“I think the media is, in general terms, one of the most destructive forces that has ever existed.”
Do you also agree with Julian Assange? Because I certainly do.
https://x.com/i/status/1805440497663496379
ASSANGE: Trump had no connection to Russia. When foreign companies, governments wanted a State Dept decision in their favor they donated to the Clinton Foundation
https://x.com/i/status/1493086451692617735
PizzaGate originated from John Podesta’s emails that were published by Julian Assange and Wikileaks.
The emails from John Podesta and his brother Tony used FBI-documented code words for pedophilia.
The emails have never been disputed.
https://x.com/i/status/1805424800908607971
I think this is what they call ‘a sticky wicket’.
Would not be surprised if this is true.
LOL. Showcasing that the U.S. Justice Dept. is just all heart.
BabBee, whatever they are paying you, it’s not enough.
And of course, to be extra safe he’ll need to be fully Vaccinated and Boosted and also his pilot will be the latest pick of DEI hires, a black female fresh out of flight school.