WASHINGTON, D.C. — As accusations continue to mount regarding the impartiality of the American justice system, U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland threatened to arrest anyone who said his Department of Justice was corrupt.
Though clear evidence was presented by many on the right of DOJ targeting political opponents with questionable charges and harsh sentences while ignoring illegal activity from people on the left, Garland vowed to bring the full weight of the federal government on anyone who dares to question his fairness.
“Anyone who questions the impeccable integrity of my Department of Justice is a danger to democracy and must be arrested,” Garland said in a statement. “It’s un-American to question my authority. And if you do, you probably need to be indicted for something or other. Don’t worry, we’ll find something.”
Critics of the Justice Department pointed to Garland’s statement as further proof of DOJ corruption. “So if I disagree with the conduct of the DOJ and accuse them of being corrupt, I’ll get arrested?” asked outraged citizen Josh Norton. “I don’t know… that sounds exactly like something a CORRUPT JUSTICE DEPARTMENT would say!”
Norton was then arrested by federal agents and placed in solitary confinement at an undisclosed location, where he will remain despite not being charged with a crime or receiving any official hearing.
At publishing time, the DOJ had attempted to prove its impartiality by presenting Hunter Biden with a $12 parking ticket.
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Guess that’s why the want to take your guns.
The only reason these satanic creatures want our guns taken so badly
after 246 years, is because we will shoot them for what they have planned for us.
If you give up your guns, you will be killed or enslaved.
It’s in every history book on earth.
U.S. Rep. Introduces Measure To Ban Gas-Operated Semi-Autos – The Truth About Guns
What is it with blonde negresses?
race envy.
Bam! There it is! Detailed studies have been published on that very phenomenon. It’s fascinating, actually.
Cultural appropriation … apparently it’s just fine if they do it …
“Garlands doj is not only corrupt but a joke”…..
There,I said it!
Now what?!
Not a joke, James, but instead a powerful apparatus of state, the national government’s control, and under no circumstance should be made light of. It is an major head of the USSA’s hydra. And, most importantly, a huge device for the Communist Democrats in lawfare against Americans. Just Us.
True, yet there is one ignorant person who down voted the truth.
Isn’t there always? Try not to lose sight of the fact that you are now living in Enemy territory. Sort of like a fish reminding itself it’s in water. It’s easy to lose sight of when you were literally born into it.
Now I gotta go watch The Matrix and Idiocracy again. That always makes me feel centered.
Bruh, if you don’t bless Garland, you can’t expect to be raptured.
Do you even EvangiBoomerTwoGospelThirdTempleRedHeiferRoastChristianZionistRaptureTard…smh,
Ecstasy Frozen In Time.
It’s the feline equivalent of the human “O face” .
“Find something to arrest you….” May be from the Babylon Bee, but it is the actual mentality of many cops, and they’ll say it.
“Show me the man, and I’ll show you the crime.”
– Levrentiy Beria Garland
Guess their ehnicity….
That was Joseph Stalin you just ripped off.
Swing and a miss, Langley.
As usual.
Look it up.
And I didn’t rip it off, I quoted it with attribution.
No mystery why your superiors assigned you to this little nothing outpost to monitor and try to infuence. Epic Fail.
Garland is a Communist train wreck, we dodged a bullet when he failed to get the SCOTUS appointment.
If they try again, there will only be a few republicons willing to oppose his appointment.
Biden request Hunter be placed in most corrupt prison in order for him to access crack.
POTATUS will simply commute any sentence..If there even is one.
I guess this was supposed to be satire, but if you’ve been paying attention at all lately, this almost exactly what is happening now.
WELL IT IS CORRUPT ALONG WITH HIS COMMIE ASS.
Hey if you are a demo attorney general the law does not apply to you or your agency. See how that works. It works out really well for Garland and Biden. Now that’s what I call a dictatorship when the President doesn’t follow the law, his attorney general backs him up and says he doesn’t have to follow the law either. Good times!
Thank goodness the Dept. of Just Us decided that Merrick Garland ignoring a CONgressional subpoena was not a crime like it was for Peter Navarro and Steve Bannon.