U.S. — As former President Donald Trump continued to build a sizeable lead in a majority of swing states, the latest polls suggest President Joe Biden would need twice as many fake ballots to win the election this year.
The startling poll results presented the Biden campaign with a sobering reminder that the standard number of fake ballots used in previous election years needed to be increased significantly for him to win again in November.
“We’ve got to double our target number of fake votes this year,” said a Biden campaign insider under the condition of anonymity. “In previous years, we could just coast by with the standard quota of shenanigans, but this year, we’ve got to increase our production of hijinx and substantially raise the output of malarky.”
The polls also led White House insiders to express concern that there may not even be enough dead people casting votes to overcome the deficit. “We need more dead voters,” another insider said. “We’ve always done a good job of turning out the dead vote, but this year it will be even more crucial to get as many deceased people to the polls as possible.”
Democrat ballot production centers across the country have reportedly already been notified to ramp up production to have any chance of meeting the demand in November.
At publishing time, the Biden campaign was rumored to be in negotiations with foreign countries for permission to use large quantities of the dead voters they use to rig their elections.
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. . . but, luckily, his constituency is streaming over the border by the millions and being flown to convenient voting locales in time. Also, coronahoax has provided a couple million more dead who are being resurrected digitally.
Babylon Bee: Real News For A Fake World™
Taking bets on how many weeks it’ll take to count all those beautiful votes!
The revolution should begin at midnight if all the votes aren’t counted.
I agree, but we both know that ain’t gonna happen. Never kick a can today that will still be there tomorrow, right?
there is no shortage of obese black women ready to fill them out for Dear Leader Obama
when hundreds of thousands of ballots are now being proven they were fraudulent in the 2020 election that dragged dementia Joe into the Oval Office it’s far form comical
As the leftist lunatics now run the asylum .
The country needs a strong leader willing to do some dastardly acts comparable to a national enema of biblical proportions !
50 million illegals flushed by severe military means . Business owners jailed and bankrupted for hiring illegals.
next in some protest cases some serious skull cracking and block traffic get run over as a matter of course