Zelensky Asks If This Is A Bad Time To Maybe Get A Couple More Billion

Via The Babylon Bee

KYIV — Amid large-scale terrorist atrocities in Israel and an active hostage situation with Hamas, Ukrainian President Zelensky cautiously asked if now would be a bad time to maybe get a couple billion dollars of US aid.

“So, um, I know you all are pretty busy with all the Israel stuff,” said Zelensky while nervously fidgeting with the new $40,000 Omega Speedmaster watch on his wrist. “But if it’s not too much trouble or whatever, do you all have an extra billion or maybe two or three lying around that you’re not using? I need it for, um, important war stuff.”

“Democracy depends on it. If it’s not too much trouble.”

Zelensky promised the additional aid would also be a huge help to Israel since it will keep his Nazi brigades busy fighting Russia instead of helping Hamas wipe out the Jews. “I really don’t even need that much,” he said. “Just a few billion. Maybe 10 or 20 billion tops. That’s all. Please and thank you.”

“America is happy to send Zelensky whatever it needs without limit or oversight forever and ever,” said Secretary of State Antony Blinken. “Even during this dark and tragic time for the noble Hamas freedom fighters, er, I mean Israel.”

US officials have assured Zelensky they’ll have Biden sign off on it as soon as he wakes up from his afternoon nap.

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11 Comments
10ffgrid
10ffgrid
October 9, 2023 6:53 pm

Democrat money-laundering never ceases.

Anonymous
Anonymous
October 9, 2023 6:54 pm

Nah Volod, it’s a good time, your wife will be Christmas shopping soon!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
October 10, 2023 7:11 am

Christmas?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
October 10, 2023 11:11 am

Yeah, it’s that holiday between Thanksgiving and New Year’s and all the consumer goods are already on display.

bidenTouchesKids
bidenTouchesKids
October 9, 2023 8:13 pm

Not at all, Biden’s already looking to give him 10 billion.
comment image

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
October 9, 2023 10:05 pm

My flat earthier buddy doesn’t think there’s even a war going on in the Ukraine.

Huh. Flat Earther?
Huh. Flat Earther?
  Iska Waran
October 9, 2023 10:11 pm

NOT gonna go there.

However, when the land mine thingy was going on a few weeks or so ago?

Made me wonder as well. ‘Placement’ seemed suspect.

On the other hand, if geraldo was embedded? Proof. Positive.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Iska Waran
October 10, 2023 11:12 am

That’s because Ukraine is on the bottom side and all the soldiers would fall off.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
October 9, 2023 10:07 pm

WHat’s a few shekels between friends ?

Photos of this swine make Auntie want to retch and FJB.

Anonymous
Anonymous
October 10, 2023 12:27 am

Ukraine is now an orphan without a foster army.

Anonymous
Anonymous
October 10, 2023 10:18 am

New name ideas for what was once called Ukraine;

Zelensky Check Cashing Services

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Ukraine

Slaverica

The Country Formerly Known As….