New Mexico Criminals Excited To Hear No One Will Be Armed For Entire Month

Via The Babylon Bee

NEW MEXICO — Criminals across New Mexico were ecstatic to hear from Governor Grisham today that no one in the state would be armed for an entire month.

“Oh, sweet!” said local carjacker Jeff Diggs. “It’s so stressful wondering if your next victim could be packing. Gosh, that’s such a weight off!”

New Mexico Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham made the announcement yesterday in a press conference, to resounding cheers from criminals across the state. “I just want every thief in our great state to know they have nothing to fear,” said Governor Grisham. “We’re delivering bold leadership on crime, and making a statement to the nation. That statement is this: For the next month, criminals in New Mexico can rob and assault anyone with absolute impunity.”

Organized crime rings broke out in applause and slapped high-fives, ecstatic about the news. “Man, I’m getting tears in my eyes,” said Albuquerque gangster Sean Rogers. “What a relief, knowing we’re the only ones with the guns. This is going to be amazing.”

At publishing time, Governor Grisham had announced to further cheers that she would also be taking away guns from the police.

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30 Comments
Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
September 10, 2023 2:15 pm

It will be interesting to see how this shakes out. They’re testing the reaction.

If this is allowed to continue, welp then you’d be an idiot to think anyone is going to stand up to anything coming up in the near future.

Sorry, kids. You have a nation full of squishy men.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Abigail Adams
September 10, 2023 2:44 pm

I’m sure Jim Jordan will write a stern letter.

Jocko
Jocko
  Anonymous
September 10, 2023 6:00 pm

But will speaker McCarthy sign it to, after an appropriate lenghty investigation?

Saw the light
Saw the light
  Anonymous
September 10, 2023 8:45 pm

What have you done?

zappalives
zappalives
  Abigail Adams
September 10, 2023 2:51 pm

Good men lack all conviction.
The worse are filled with passionate intensity.

Anyone else getting tired waiting for Jesus ?
I am………………….
Cant we do some zealot shit and fuck their nigger asses up ?

flash
flash
  zappalives
September 10, 2023 3:15 pm

Thanks TCS…how’s everything at Langley?

zappalives
zappalives
  flash
September 10, 2023 4:04 pm

You talking to me ?

Bullwinkle
Bullwinkle
  zappalives
September 10, 2023 3:31 pm

There are so few real followers of the Christ Figure that actually follow his example, that there could have been a thousand “Raptures” over 2000 years, no one would notice.

Saw the light
Saw the light
  zappalives
September 10, 2023 8:45 pm

You must be a fed…

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Abigail Adams
September 10, 2023 3:26 pm

What would Arpaio have done?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
September 10, 2023 3:28 pm

We need strong Sheriffs, but unfortunately it has become a matter of this… When this happens in your neck of the woods:

No lube. No courtesy spit. You need to go in dry.

flash
flash
September 10, 2023 3:14 pm

Security guard shot in head during fight at high school football game. Africans cannot be civilized, on any continent.

FIGHT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME TURNS INTO SHOOTING ❗️#nsfw #fight #utica #knockout pic.twitter.com/NxNbmtJLS2

— . (@viralclips777) September 10, 2023

zappalives
zappalives
  flash
September 10, 2023 5:39 pm

Not a very good video.
Im just glad somebody died.
Hope it was a nigger.|
Or a democrat.

overthecliff
overthecliff
  zappalives
September 10, 2023 9:47 pm

St.Louis area had 2 shootings first week of hs football. Schools are limiting attendance and cancelling games. If you want to fuck something up, put some niggers in the mix. +1 from me zap.

Yeah Sure
Yeah Sure
September 10, 2023 3:17 pm

NM votes blue. they like free shit.

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 10, 2023 3:19 pm

Gone are the days when corrupt politicians were tarred and feathered and put on a boxcar heading out of town.

flash
flash
September 10, 2023 3:36 pm

And more on the way….gonna’ need a bigger militia.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
September 10, 2023 4:43 pm

Is that a wet suit or does she belong to an Albanian drug gang?

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 10, 2023 4:45 pm

No one is going to pay attention to this bullshit. The house of cards is falling. Non compliance will gain momentum.

falconflight
falconflight
September 10, 2023 6:00 pm

I’d love to see Mayors, Governors, and Uncle Stasi-Sam ‘just do it.’ Why shouldn’t they, there are no negative ‘consequences.’

Jocko
Jocko
September 10, 2023 6:02 pm

Prediction: shoplifting crimes fall, car jackings and armed robberies increase. Cops get there an hour after the crimes are committed.

NOT her 1st Rodeo?
NOT her 1st Rodeo?
September 10, 2023 7:01 pm

One other small detail 👁 overlooked?

“Michelle Lujan Grisham was a co-sponsor of the Assault Weapon Ban, H. R. 4269, introduced on December 12, 2015”

The Liberty Advocate
The Liberty Advocate
September 10, 2023 8:16 pm

This is what happens when a woman is put in charge.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  The Liberty Advocate
September 10, 2023 8:47 pm

I’m sure she is being made to do this.

Vrump
Vrump
September 10, 2023 8:41 pm

Consumption of beverages and fingerfoods would crater. 😁

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 10, 2023 8:45 pm

This is just another opportunity to practice non compliance. I’m certain the majority of gun carriers will. Just wait until Billy Bob clips some rookie statie over this. The governor will be liable.

Saw the light
Saw the light
September 10, 2023 8:47 pm

I’m guessing the police will not report crimes so they can say how wonderful it’s working out.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Saw the light
September 10, 2023 11:02 pm

Reverse quota , A-LA Sgt. Shultz

” I see Nothing ! “

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 11, 2023 2:29 am

Her next executive order:

comment image

RW
RW
September 11, 2023 6:44 pm

I’ve written a song for the Govenor of New Mexico! Sing it with me! “Blow blow blow, blow it out your ass, merrily merrily merrily until it makes you scream!” Repeat as needed.