I’ve noticed something. With every mass shooting, there are thoughts and prayers. That’s a correlation — a science word that means “one caused the other.”
Now, I’m a big believer in science. Science tells us about climate change and asteroids. I always listen to science — except economics which isn’t a real science and is very mean. So if science tells me that thoughts and prayers cause mass shootings, then I’m going to act. I’m going to tweet, “Hey, stop it with those thoughts and prayers.” And I’m going to do some more tweets. And then maybe write a bill — or an FAQ summarizing what I want the bill to be since that’s easier.
And I’m going to teach. Teach people how to stop having thoughts and prayers. Now, not praying is easy. If you’re thinking of asking God for something, just don’t do it. It’s probably good not to pray as praying too much could make you a Republican (there’s another correlation).
Not having thoughts is harder, but I’ve gotten pretty good at it. I just pick a blank wall and stare at it and try not to think. Eventually I sort of black out and lose time. It’s not quite sleep — actually, my doctor is not exactly sure what that is. Hey, science, there’s another thing for you to look into!
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Maybe not letting people from utterly incompatible cultures into Western countries might help, too?
It certainly doesn’t serve our interests to have muslims here. Who does want them? Why?
The ditzy bi*ch should remember we only have 12 more years to worry about that kind of stuff (see, another science lesson) so let’s don’t go overboard with new and difficult concepts.
OTOH, we could take our guidance from that Hubbell child since she seems to know so much about handling sensitive topics like immigration, religion, and plain old thinking on your feet.
That’s like a pretty funny piece. But, it could have been like even a lot funner.
What I mean like is that like it’s not exactly how she speaks. She like uses one particular word like a whole lot of times. This makes her sound like even more fucken bat shit stupid than like she really is. I’m not gonna spoon fee you the word cuz like you guys are like really smart and I fugure you can like figure it out for yourselves.
Now Stuck, here’s something you might find amusing ’cause
I like, like the way you think.
Although I haven’t watched SNL in decades (since
the days of John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner, Steve
Martin, Dan Akroyd, and Martin Short) someone picked up
this four minute piece from 2012 that seems to be a bit
prescient of AOC:
Did she actually have an original thought? There oughta be a law…